My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
