my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize