i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
please come you make the beer taste better
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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