Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize