I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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