We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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