so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
