That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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