dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
so much tequila, so little girl.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
