why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
