Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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