I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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