Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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