Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize