oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
