I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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