Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
