I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
