I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
