the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize