we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i just made my gag reflex go away.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
