Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
