found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He? As in you personified your dick?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
