He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
