; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
she pinky promised me she was 18
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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