Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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