What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
