you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
