I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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