I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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