All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
