She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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