shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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