Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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