btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
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