Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
