google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
