i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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