My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
