you're like a bully in the Christmas story
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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