evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
