Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
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I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
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He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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