watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
