You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
All the doctor said was why
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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