We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.â€
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