4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
