Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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