I must be too annoying 4 u.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
