dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
