Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
