Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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