She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
