Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
