he shaved USA in his pubs
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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