fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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