He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
