you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
